19 years

Hey I want to say sorry for the last post I was in a really bad mood and I found out one of my dearest net friends mother had died and it just sent me right off. I need to get myself together have been being a real fool laterly and it’s stuff like that, that makes you loose your friends so I really have to wake up. I want to thank Kate very much for being so wonderful and kind your a true beauty and to Yimin and kat and of course Rain.

I just feel so jumbled at the moment. I don’t feel like i’m being the real me. I know that feeling comes to alot of people but I don’t wont to sound like this winy emo chick, I just want to be myself and not live like I am forcing myself. I am a creative person and I want to be able to exspress myself but the last time I wrote poems was at the start of the year. I need to wake up and smell the sunshine because when i’m unhappy it puts me out of line. I know I also really need sleep for the past four years it’s been waking up at 3pm and going to bed at 3, 4 sometimes even 7am. It’s just not right.

On one exciting note I have been approved for the Goyle, and fudge fanlistings from Harry potter and the Buddy Cole character from the gift I love them and hope to do them justice.

I will leave with this last message.

Somtimes to find yourself you must look into the mirror not into the screen.

Love and blessings.

4 Responses

  1. I hope your friend is alright. Are you feeling a bit better about everything now?

    That last message is so true and lovely. :heart:

  2. Oh my gosh, I am so sorry about your friends loss. I know how she is feeling, I lost my mother in 2001. She will need her friends when she is ready for them. I know when I lost my mom, I didn’t want anyones sympathy, it takes time to be able to accept what’s happend, it took me 3 years of depression to finally snap out of it and accept it. She has good friends, and family and thats what counts. I know it’s hard for you too as a friend.

    Your hours sound a lot like mine, Lol. I’m surprised we don’t talk hehe. Congrats on the Fanlistings hon, and thank you even more for the kind comment on my site. *hugs* :heart: :heart:

  3. *sigh* i feel like that a lot too.. well, i use to, i dunno what stopped it, but i think it had a lot to do wif the 10 day survival corse i did.. and to do with me being more in toutch with myself because of a lot of the shit i’ve been thought since the last 2 mounths..

    What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.. when things go bad, try to make the best of them, and try to learn from them!

  4. Don’t feel as if you have to apologize, you were only posting how you felt. What else is a blog for if it isn’t used to express yourself? It’s healthy to vent once in a while and if you aren’t able to do is "IRL", then a blog is the next best place, in my opinion anyway. 😉

    I do your friend’s doing better. I can’t even imagine what the loss of a parent must feel like. Send her lots of internet hugs. <3

    I’m not sure what advice or comments I can leave about your creativity block. I can certainly understand how frustrating it must be. I wrote a lot of poetry when I was in high school and it was one of the few things that managed to keep me sane. All I can say is that I hope you’re able to get those creative juices following – I know you will. 🙂

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