My Stinkpot

19 years

It?s amazing how much can happen in one year. One year can turn peoples lives around, both for good and for the bad. One year can change history and one year can alter the direction or process of how we as individuals think.

In the past year I have had sadness and I have had times of great happiness; I have been introduced to wonderful people and met one of my best friends in person. In the past year I have cried in sorrow and in the past you I have cried from laughter. But most importantly in the past year I have felt, cared and worried. Not for myself but for all those I love and all those who have a place in my heart.

A time is coming in my life were I have to remember a tragic event that happened, although I focus to remember this person as how they lived, the way they were taken from me is always going to be placed in my mind like a haunting dream.

On the 12th of August last year my uncle died and I still get upset when it is brought up. As any person who has dealt with loss knows and understands this, it is not something that can easily be washed away. We all deal in our own way and mine has been to sometimes lock away how I feel but on the odd occasion find the key and shred some release, of how I feel.

To my uncle who is never forgotten, to my Stinkpot the person who I may not have always seen he is always in my heart. For a is person is never truly forgotten, in our minds they can never be dead.

15 Responses

  1. I understand what it’s like to feel the way you do. They say time heals all wounds, but for some it doesn’t. While the sorrow we feel may subside over time, there is always that… I don?t even know how to describe it. It?s like a "pang". It pierces through your heart and feels like it will never, ever stop hurting.
    It is impossible for people to truly grasp the horrible, tragic feeling of losing such a beloved person ? even those that have lost a family member or a friend cannot fully understand what they are feeling. Words and actions can only express so much, and then it becomes difficult to tell your true emotions. Emotions are so forceful and so complex that no matter how hard we try, we cannot "get out" the way we truly feel. Losing somebody is the worst feeling in the world, there is no doubt about that, but I must say: You have such an amazing way with words, my dear. :]

    Just always remember him. Our memory and love for somebody we have lost is enough to keep them alive in our heart, our mind and our soul.
    And you have the biggest heart, the most brilliant mind and the most beautiful soul. He will shine through in you, Kass.

  2. Kya, I understand just how you feel. The concept of death isn’t something taken so lightly. As time goes on, it may seem that we have moved on, but the pain still remains etched in our hearts. It is truly impossible for anybody to forget because we are slaves to our emotions. We are slaves to our hearts. Just know that your uncle will always be with you. Just because he is not physically there doesn’t mean that he’s completely gone. He lives through you and those that he loved. He lives on in your hearts and in your souls. Take care, and I hope you feel better. 🙂

  3. I know what it feels like when losing someone. It hurts real bad and I start to feel like something’s missing in my heart. I hope you feel better soon.
    :heart: :heart: :heart:

  4. Hiya, Kya! I’m so sorry about your uncle 🙁

    Sounds like you’ve had a good year…hopefully I’m one of the ‘wonderful’ people you’re talking about, lol!

    Have a good day.

  5. I know how you feel. My Grandad died of cancer on September, 11 last year. And even now, it upsets me. The song "Wake me up when September ends" makes me cry, for fucks sake. I’ve never got upset over a song in my life before, and it even annoys me, because Green Day have been my favourite band for 11 years…and there’s a song of theirs that I can’t listen to.

    *Sigh* I hope you feel better soon. :heart:

  6. Hey this is shelby. Im sorry about your uncle and everything thats going on in your life. Life can suck sometimes but sooner or later, youll be back on your feet and stronger then ever. This post was really deep and I will oneday reread it, Hopefully everything will work out and the pain in your heart will get weaker as time goes on and you will soon realized that your uncle will always be with you

  7. I think we say this "Year has lasted so long." but when you’re right at the end of it, you think of all that has happened and it seems like a dream, that you can’t believe that everything has happened in that one year. We grow each day and we become a different person each year because the past makes you who you are and it’s crazy how something can make you without you realizing it. As for your Uncle, I’m deeply sorry, I really haven’t lost someone but I could only say that he is in a better place, I know you’ve heard this before but just think, there is something better to this and he’s in that place where he is loved and safe. 🙂

  8. Aww…I’m sorry about your uncle I didn’t know… :heart: I usually handle death very nicely, when I understand the cause of it. Like if someone is in pain, like my dog was, or my grandparents who were old,but I guess there will come a time when someone is taken away from me that I can not understand, and then I will feel like you do now 🙁

  9. grief isnt something that easily disapears i understand how you feel, my grandparents whio i was very close to died a couple of years back, the hurt never really leaves.

    its funny how a year can chage someone, all the ups and downs, i know for sure that from me giong from 18 to 19 has been a big year for me, i feel so different.

    hope your ok hun xxx

  10. Hey Kya babe!

    I totally love your Draco bot! It’s the best thing since sliced bread! And he soooo loves you 😉 he shagged you after Quidditch behind the Whomping Willow! 😀 lucky girl! *lmfao*

    Ttys xoxo

  11. 🙂 Darl, I know you probably think I’m not good for anything else except for a bit of a laugh, but I’m going to turn all mumsy for a sec…Although my experiences with death have been very different, since my father and grandmother died at a time when I was too young to fully grasp the concept of mourning, I still know how it feels to lose someone with whom you’re not ready to part with – and it bloody hurts like hell. A year is a long time but the feeling of loss will never quite leave you. However, in due time you can learn how to make your genuine pain translate into good, positive thoughts to remember him by. Like you said, he lives on in your mind but also in that gorgeous heart of yours. Take care dear, I love you!

  12. Goodness, I haven’t visited you in a while. I suck. *feels bad*

    It’s always hard to think about a loved one that’s passed away, especially when the anniversary of said person’s death approaches. There isn’t much help I can offer other than to say that as long as you keep your uncle’s memory in your heart, he’ll always be with you. *hug*

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