In different worlds.

16 years

I have been having a lot of strange dreams lately and more so then is normal. I have found if you go to bed in the afternoon and wake up between 3 – 5 AM it seems to really make them absorb into the brainz. I found this one to be very interesting, like a life at a certain time from different angels, and can’t remember having one like this so clearly below.

In all sections of the dream a few facts are present in all of them. 1, I look like myself and possibly around 16 – 18 years old. 2, they all take place in or around a school area. 3, At least one of my cousins is present in all three sections.

Part One.
In this section of the dream I was clearly affected with mental problems as I ran through a school naked. I didn’t attend the school and don’t believe I had been to one for some time. I did know that my cousin was going and wanted to visit them. After running around the grounds for a while I headed into a locker area and ran through the showers getting wet and traumatising many people that had no idea what was going on. I managed to take a bunch of towels and whirl them around in the air watching the colours swirl and dance. Another student finally decided that I needed something to wear and found a long jumper and put it over me. I can remember screaming and groaning as they were touching me trying to put it on. But one they had I had forgotten about even wearing it and decided to run around again.

I headed into a garden and noticed my cousin. I ran across my flowers destroying them all with a giant smile on my face. I hugged him very closely oblivious to what was actually going on, which I think may have been something a little shady as he kept looking behind the building. I was laughing and poking his arm before some people came to take me out of the school and away, as it transformed into the second dream.

Part Two.
This dream started off with myself and a friend sitting in the principles office. But I was very different and even to myself. I sat up very straight, my uniform was in perfect condition and my legs were politely closed. The principles office was quite posh and I quickly got the assumption for myself it was a private school, but my dream self was aware of that and I would assume was excelling at every subject. I was somewhat of a humanitarian and wanted to change the world and bring a hope for so many people. I was in the principles office speaking to him about trying to plan a trip to Africa to save women and children that were being born with a new disease that somehow twists the legs or deforms them and it was curable with a simple procedure that did not cost a lot of money, but needed awareness brought to it. The principle was obviously very cautious about this whole idea, but my personality was very strong especially when I had the desires to help a great deal of people in my heat. He said I could go and speak to ‘him’ and see what happened. I happily agreed and remember leaving the office talking to my friend and being so dedicated by what I was talking about and so convicted to helping them, as well as some other issues.

I was by myself now, standing outside an office with a large dark brown door. The receptionist at a private office just outside the door smiled at me and I politely returned the favour. She told me I could enter, and I walked inside to the Prime Ministers office. Kevin was happy to see me as I was to see him again, we had known each other and he mentioned something about my parents and I said they were well. I was quick to mention the whole reason for my visit and he sat back in his chair deep in thought. I mentioned my need to help the women and children in Africa, as well as some people in Singapore and especially my contribution to the Aboriginal community. I wanted to spread a message that each person is the same and we should not class them as anything different because of the colour of their skin. But we should embrace and even learn about their culture so it is never lost, that this dreaming should become apart of our life because they are the true owners of this land and part of one of the oldest living civilizations ever known, how can we let something so amazing ever leave history, it just can’t happen. He defiantly agreed with me and said he could arrange the trip to Africa for the school in four months time and that I would be able to spend after hours in an Aboriginal Community becoming more acquainted with many of the customs first hand.

I arrived at the camp and my cousin was there to help. Firstly their was an office and two older men that worked as parliamentary members of the Aboriginal community both greeted me and seemed to be very over joyed at the ideas I had. (However there was one woman in the office that really did not like me at all. Which is understandable, here is a white person coming in thinking they know everything. I think it would be reason enough to be very cautions.) One of the men led me outside and introduced me to everyone. We started off with a small game of throwing a boomerang, then we were playing catch with this special type of ball and everyone was having a good time. After a few hours of talking to everyone I was taken back to the office and we had a good talk about what exactly could be reported back and I respected some of their privacy. It was not a cover up of anything bad, but I was told that some aspects of this ‘mob’ preferred it was not known.

I returned back to the school and was being interviewed for a newspaper and a special show that Kevin had setup for the ABC about my journey and how I would help people. This was normal life for dream me and what I expected, but I wasn’t rude or snobbish.

Part Three.
This section is probably the scariest because in some ways it resembles a path I may have gone down and almost did at one stage in my life. And it is also scary because I feel this one part of me that feels so hungry for it to be that way, and I fight with that, yell and scream at it, that it is never EVER going to be that way.

I was standing behind a building my head leaning up against the wall. My eyes closed and my head floating off with the fairies as I was as high as a kite. A school bell rang and everyone started walking to class. I tried to kick myself off the wall but felt like I was glued to it, like I was one of the bricks, packed into the wall. I finally managed to lean forward in what seemed 20 minutes but was only 10 seconds. I picked up my bag and walked out in the crowd. To anyone that did see me, it would be obvious that I was ‘off’ on something. But I was oblivious to this and I doubted I even cared. I had my hit, the burning hunger that raged through my body was fed for that time until it demanded its next meal.

After I had been to several classes it was lunch time and I was already out. I was beginning to come down, to feel slightly normal and the weight of the world was crushing me. The thoughts were coming in on me, trying to destroy me to make me believe it what wasn’t real, that I was hurting myself. I needed to shut them up, I needed to fix myself and I knew the only way was to get my white powder and take me away to a better place.

I had hitched a ride a fair way to a dealer and scored my load then planed to hitch back to the school, for whatever reason I will not know. I was standing on the street with my thumb out and a car pulled up. I had already had a hit at this stage and was out of it. I failed to notice that the car that did pull up was a police one. I got inside and said I wanted to go back to the high school. My cousin was driving the car and she was a police women. I didn’t even notice at first it was her, or that she was dressed as a cop, but when I did it went something like this: “Hey, oh I know you. Oh shit, wait your like a fucking pig.” In a very slow and drawn out tone. She told me to give her the stash or she didn’t want to do what she had to. I started crying and rocking back and forward in an awkward panic. I put it on the sit and a about ten minutes passed as she kept talking and I had slowly been putting my jacket over the clear bag so I could grab my jacket and take what I really wanted in a rush. Even if everything around me could hardly be absorbed my desire to have my coke was untarnished and I would do whatever was needed. I think I finally realised what she was saying, when she mentioned for the third time her brother had just died. She could see I was hardly there and stoped the car screaming at me to get out. I almost did, every part of me wanted to grab my drugs and run now. But I stayed because she seemed so upset and it was my ‘biggest mistake’. She kept trying then drove fast. In my daze I asked where we were going and she said the morgue to see her dead brother. But when she drove past it I started to feel itchy. Before she could reach her destination she needed to get petrol. She stoped and I started to grind my teeth. She got out, grabbed the drugs and put them into her pocket. I could feel a fury wash over me and I hated her, she was the scum of the earth she wasn’t my cousin she was a pig in blue trying to stop me from doing what I wanted. I was going to get my load back, no matter what happened to her.

I pulled the police radio and anything else I could find of value out of the car and put it in my bag. I found keys and handcuffs and even a knife and bullets. I sat my bag down and headed into the shop where she was now paying. The shop was not very large and a few shelves. I walked in slowly, the door opening and no one paying much attention. I walked up softly behind her and reached into my pocket removing the knife from my pocket. I grasped it tightly in my hand and clenched my teeth together. I lunged forward and put one hand around her neck and stabbed her in the back repeatedly throwing away her radio. I grabbed out her gun and got my stash. I pointed the gun at the cashier and he moved his arm in panic. Thinking he was going to do something I shot him in the chest the loud noise of the shot freaking many people out and alerting everyone to the fact of what was going on. I ran and grabbed my bag and ran for my life.

I think I ended wondering into this large drain system and could hear police searching but I felt invincible that I would never be found and I could stay down their forever. But my cocaine would not last forever ….

Certainly wild and crazy! I found the last one to be more interested, but I think they all have something to be learnt from them and it’s so interesting to see life from all these angles.

3 Responses

  1. wow, those are some pretty wild dreams! yeah, i do find that if you wake up in the wee hours of the morning (or better yet, the witching hour), you’ll get some strange dreams and experiences. 🙂

  2. Wow; that’s quite a dream.

    “I think they all have something to be learnt from them and it’s so interesting to see life from all these angles.” — I think that too. You can end up all sorts of places in life; ultimately it comes down to what you choose for yourself. Of course, there are twists and turns, but there is always choice. I hope you end up in a good place because I think you could do a lot of good. 🙂


    Something hit me the other day while I was in ythe shower. An Under pressure song came on; not THE song, but a song.. and this song seemed to be perverted, in a way; and I suddenly thought “Tom’s under pressure is referring to his penis that’s about to… you know.” It was a shocking and slightly disturbing and also somewhat funny realization; I can’t think of why else Tom would be so obsessed with the song.

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