I have not been very active at the moment and have over a 100 emails I need to reply to and process. The reason, Dad has cancer again and naturally it has upset me and really shaken the foundations I stand on. This time he will have to have intravenous chemotherapy and radiation treatment. I hope it GOES this time. Blah.
It was my Nanna’s birthday two days ago and I went into the nursing home to visit her. She wasn’t having a very good day and it was so horrible to see her in pain, crying and not being able to process everything. It was so hard to control my tears. I held her hand and kept telling her I loved her and tried to comfort her.
Life is really hard and painful (in an emotional sense) at the moment. But I know it will get better, it has to right? And I guess sometimes you have to find and make your own happiness, by clearing out the gloomy clouds of despair. It’s not always that easy though, especially when so much seems to weigh over my head; Cancer, Nanna, Poppy, Animals, Online things, writing my books and now education as well. Sometimes I just need to STOP, and breath.
I sent in my application to complete my Preliminary/HSC years of High School again, so I should hopefully be starting that next year, if approved. I think I should be, and I am excited about this because it is my future and I can make my dreams happen by pushing myself!