Falling into faded light

15 years

I have not been very active at the moment and have over a 100 emails I need to reply to and process. The reason, Dad has cancer again and naturally it has upset me and really shaken the foundations I stand on. This time he will have to have intravenous chemotherapy and radiation treatment. I hope it GOES this time. Blah.

It was my Nanna’s birthday two days ago and I went into the nursing home to visit her. She wasn’t having a very good day and it was so horrible to see her in pain, crying and not being able to process everything. It was so hard to control my tears. I held her hand and kept telling her I loved her and tried to comfort her.

Life is really hard and painful (in an emotional sense) at the moment. But I know it will get better, it has to right? And I guess sometimes you have to find and make your own happiness, by clearing out the gloomy clouds of despair. It’s not always that easy though, especially when so much seems to weigh over my head; Cancer, Nanna, Poppy, Animals, Online things, writing my books and now education as well. Sometimes I just need to STOP, and breath.

I sent in my application to complete my Preliminary/HSC years of High School again, so I should hopefully be starting that next year, if approved. I think I should be, and I am excited about this because it is my future and I can make my dreams happen by pushing myself!

6 Responses

  1. I can feel your sadness, and I really adore you for your dedication to them even though I know you’re feeling upset right now. Life is like a spinning wheel, sometimes you get at the bottom side but don’t worry, you’ll enjoy it soon at the top. Everything will be good at the right time.

    Good luck on your application. I’m really glad that you are excited about it.

  2. We’ve talked about all of this (and if we haven’t, WE SHOULD), and you know how I feel: I am there. I know that’s not a lot, and really, I could have a lot more eloquent words pouring out, but that’s just it: they’re words. I can’t make it any better than it is, but I am there in spirit, with you 100% of the way. I may not be able to hug you when you’re down, or talk with you RIGHT THEN, but I’m always a e-mail or phone call away.

    I am SO PROUD of you, about your education! You know my situation, so I’m so excited for you, I can just imagine how that may feel. You will go the mile, I know you will! ๐Ÿ˜€

  3. I admire your strength in coping through all your difficulties. I don’t think I would have been able to continue with my day normally if I were in your shoes. I hope for good things to happen to you. You really deserve it.

    Remember: What goes down must come up. I guess it just takes a little patience.

    Cheers! xoxo

  4. I can feel what you’re feeling right now. Sickness is really not a good thing at all, in ANY form whatsoever. I hope he’ll turn out for the better. Considering your gran had your birthday I think it turns the things a little brighter! ๐Ÿ™‚

    You have a lot going on, yes. Especially your competition that’s going on now and your endless e-mails plus applications for hosting… You’re a good person, Kya, I’m sure you’ll manage everything. Just remember always take a break or else you’ll just turn into a zombie, literally.

    Good luck on your application! I’m sure you’re do well and everything! ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Kya, I really admire your strenght and I can tell you from personal exprerince, that you should find comfort in someone else other wise it will be so hard to deal with yourself. In the end everything will turn out fine, trust me on that. Maybe not totally but always think it could be worse.

    If you ever need some one to vent to i am open. ๐Ÿ™‚

    ttyl and hope life lightens up on you ๐Ÿ™‚


  6. You are a strong woman and I admire you for being able to get through this. Even though there are tears I also see you enthused about the possibility of there being school. I know we’re not close but I see what you’re going through but also see your light, your joy in certain things, your love for your family. You’ll be all right. I do believe that.

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