A Message To Myself.

16 years

Dear Kassandra,

This is me, twenty one years old. I may look back on my youth one day and wonder what my life had meant, what values I held and the dreams and aspirations that were the core of my being, the strength that propelled me forward, attached to the love of family and dear friends. So I give this message to myself and hope that I shall carry it with me during my lifetime and inspire myself to stay true to the child that lives inside.

Twenty one years is a flicker in time, wading away in a pool of emotions and love. Memories all flashing by like the turning pages of hundreds of photo albums. Words captured and realised, felt and misspelled. Creativity lifting the spirit and the black dog isolating the world. Happiness and sadness, the greatest trust and a broken sorrow all flickering like moths searching for light.

I see this world in all its form. The darker days linger in blood soaked ink in the pages of history, while the strong and proud, the pure of heart roam free. Sometimes unseen in the littlest detail but to the individual of mind, they shine vibrantly in a form too beautiful for words and only supported by tears.

I grow, but I do not let go to the innocence, the ability to dream with a child’s mind. The searching for my own truth, my own understanding of all around me. Not to be swayed or influenced, to dream with my own ideals, to speak my mind and try not to let fear burn my own individuality. I search to find the courage and strength to follow my dreams and dip my toes into my interests that seem so distant and unsure.

I feel proud to have been given gifts that allow me to express myself in a way that lets go of my thoughts locked inside my wondering mind. Always moving in motion and open for so much more. For knowing the direction I want my life to go and for the focus that circulates around my dream. Even when my body slows or may not be perfect in my eyes, I can drift away to a place that is my own.

For my future I can only hope that it shall become everything that I wish for. I am worthy of having the things I desire and letting my imagination run wild. I hope that when I read this again or when the hands of time have turned I embrace the life that could be mine.

Love from Kassandra.
Written on the 11th of March 2008, My Birthday.

(Weirdly enough I started writing this and I have finished it a few minutes shy of the exact time I was born. Strange how these things happen without you realising. I guess it was meant to be.)

4 Responses

  1. Dear Kass,
    I hope that when the hands of time have turned and you look back at your letter, you feel the desire to read a little letter one of your friends tacked onto the end of your own. It will not be as beautiful, heartfelt, or as meaningful as yours, but this letter has it’s own dreams and aspirations.
    I hope that when you look back at your life, you remember the happy times with joy and fondness. I hope that the simple pleasures of life that you love now don’t get lost along the way. But mainly, I hope, that any trials you have or will go through, can shine light into the corners that you need them to, to bring clarity and meaning and help you to understand what it is that I understand:

    You are unlike any human being I have ever known.

    I don’t know why I’ve been blessed with your presence, but all I know is that my life is irrevocably altered because of it. You’re like a rainbow, shining sparks of light and beauty into the darkest parts of my world. I pray that you will know this always, and that even if one day we don’t speak as often as we do now, or if we don’t laugh and speak in our own little ways, that you will remember that I will always love you for helping me to overcome my darkest hours, and cherish my lightest. You are the kind of person that permenantly changes and imprints themselves upon the lives of which you touch. Including your own. All that you need, all the joy and hope the world has to offer is within your own heart, and I have no doubt in my mind, that you will find your way to unimaginable greatness.
    Love always,
    Your friend.

  2. Lovely letter to yourself. It’ll be nice to read it in the future. I know I love reading my own entries from years past. I’m not sure if you received my comment from yesterday. If not, I’m sorry! It read something like this:


  3. I love you,
    And I loved your letter to yourself.
    Your words are magic and will always stay with me!

    Be you a gonk or a skank, you are always a blossoming flower for me!

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