Any day now

18 years

‘I don”t really know what to blog, but I feel like I want to. I am so confussed and upset and angry at the moment. Life is sending bullets when it should be sending roses. My Grandfarther seems to have had a stroke and I am finding it so hard to deal with. I love him so much and to see him so sick and to come close to loosing someone makes you extend into this feeling of the outerreaches of the soul. What are you supposed to do, how do you stop the worry, it”s neally impossible.

So many things these past two years and even further have happend that it comes to a point and you think, how the hell do you deal with this. How do you carry on. I have mum and she has me, I have to be everything for her because she is that for me. We have had deaths, and horrible things happen all the time and I am so sick of it.

Only ten days ago my uncle broke his leg really bad and he was in hospital, so many things just keep pileing onto each other. It”s shaken me and I”m not going to try to pretend to be anyone.

I really can”t comment on peoples sites at the moment, when I can I will. My mind is just not right at the moment. Bye


16 Responses

  1. *huggles* hunni i”m so sorry to hear about your grandfather and uncle! i remember when my gradparents were very ill, its a hard thing to go through. If you ever need a chat or anything! i”m always here! xxxxx

  2. Aww KayKay im sorry to hear. I know life is a bitch and like I said I think some of us needs a strike from it. Man… I hope you feel better. I think you should do things that make you happy you know, try to not think of all these bad stuff happening

  3. Right now life probably seems to miserable and really hard to bare. It is, but remember nothing is perfect.rnrnI am sorry about your Grandpa. I am sure he will get better

  4. I know you”ve probably heard a dozen “I”m sorry””s, so I”d rather let you know hey, I”m in the same boat as you right now, only a little bit rougher waters. Family of mine is gone, dead, and I”ll never get to meet them. At least your grandpa and uncle are still alive, and they have you here to comfort them, and know that you care about and love them, so I hope that your grandpfather and uncle make a full recovery and that your mind will be at ease.

  5. It’s like the saying goes.. Bad things happen to good people. These sort of incidents are so unfortunate but they happen. Your grandfather sounds like an absolutely wonderful man. One good thing is that he is obviously strong from what you were telling me before. As far as your uncle goes.. That was terrible what happened to him, but you know, he pulled through a lot quicker than was expected. It was just like a miracle. Bad things happens, sad times come, but they often can make us stronger and our bonds with others stronger as well if we let them. I hope the same goes with your Grandfather Kya. These situations are terrible, but you are strong Kya, and so is your mother. You have survived, and I know you have it in you to continue to. You and your family will be in my thoughts. Just remember I”ll be there for you. Wow, and that Bon Jovi song is on now.. I mean I had their songs playing but didn’t realize this song was on until now. I heard about them on the radio again. They were talking more about the concert. Bon Jovi brings good luck, so I hope this is a good sign. I hope the visit goes well, and hope to chat with you soon. *insert barfing smilies here*’

  6. I hope your uncle and Grandfather get better soon. Things like this happen to me too. Not that long ago, my uncle died of a heart attack. Bad things always seem to happen. But things always seem to get better.

  7. Hello.rnrnI am very sorry to hear about your grandfather. I can almost feel your sorrow. My grandfather actually died, in February of ”02, of a heart attack.. on his way from the grocery store. And I hadn”t even seen him for an entire year and a half before the incident. I hope your grandpa will be all right.

  8. Hey Kya,rnrnI really hope your Uncle and your Grandpa both get better quickly. I hope you can hold onto some sort of hope, because things will pick up eventually. Don”t let go, Kya, coz everything will work out, eventually. I”m here if you ever need to talk 😀 *hugs*rnrnLuv Mary

  9. My dearest KyarnrnI love you, I”m so sorry about what”s going on. I know that right now any amount of sorry”s would be appreciated but can”t really sort out all your problems, but just remember to always have hope, and I”m sure you know that love is the best answer to help you. *hug* It”s strange, there are so many parallels between you and me: my grandfather has also had a stroke – 2, in fact – and it was something that created a permanent dent in our lives. Just thinking of him in a state that we can”t currently cure, seeing him helpless, made us feel the pain. But I promise you sweetie, that when you feel love for him, as you always do, he can feel it too. My grandfather is recovering incredibly well because he knows that one day we will all visit him, and maybe bring him to London for a holiday. We know that that is helping him to recover because one of the words he always says is, “London”. :”)rnrnI so agree with what Nicole said – bad things do happen to good people. But then again, all things happen for a reason, right? *hug* Eventually sweetheart, I promise you, everything will be ok again. You will learn new things and everything will be put under a stronger light. I promise you.rnrnMy uncle is in a wheelchair, but don”t worry my angel, I hope that that won”t happen to your uncle. In fact, I”m sure it won”t because your uncle”s leg will hopefully heal really soon, obviously there will be pain but gradually everything will be back to normal. One day my uncle couldn”t feel his legs anymore, that”s why he is in a wheelchair. But things happen for a reason. Something we cannot comprehend is telling us something, and we just have to go with the flow and accept our emotions. Don”t be afraid to cry, don”t be afraid of life, don”t be afraid to express yourself, just be afraid if one day, you feel as if you”re pretending to be someone else.rnrnI”m sending all my love to you and your family! I love you. xxx

  10. Hey Kya. I know how you”re feeling, my grandpa”s so sick. Although you are very lucky to have him for over eighteen years, mine will be… gone in the next few months. I really hope you”ll feel better, somehow. I know everyone says that “death is a natural thing and we should accept it” but it”s so true. I hope your uncle gets better, I”m sure he will. It”s good you have your mom to support you and visa versa, you told me you guys are close 🙂 I hope – no, I know – everything will be better. Right now everything probably feels like there”s no point, and that this horrible luck will go on forever, but it won”t. And I don”t believe in luck. I believe that everything happens for a reason. Maybe you should talk to your grandad and tell him how much he means to you, go laugh with him and tell him you love him 🙂 it”s so hard for me to do that with my own grandpa, he”s so closed. But everyone needs to hear that they”re loved. You know that if you need anything – I”m right here. Inifnity x”s and o”s. Noa.

  11. Oh no, I”m so sorry to hear that. I know how rough life can be, but you have to be strong now. Talk to your grandpa and uncle; remind them of how much you love them. You”ll get through this, I believe in you. 🙂 It”ll get better. rnrnTake care.rnxoxoxoxox

  12. -hug- Death is a sad thing and I know what you are going through. My life hasn”t been exactly perfect as well. I hope your life doesn”t turn out to be a huge disaster like mine. Feel better soon love.rnxxxxx

  13. Damn hearty thing cut it off :(. heres the rest of it.rnrnIm so sorry about all you are having to deal with at the moment. Out of all the people in the world, you certainly do not in the slightest deserve this. I hope your grandfather is making a speedy recovery. I know how it is seeing someone so close whom you love be affected in ways like this. Last week my grandmother became really ill and I was frightingly worried for her. Shes doing a little better now but I know how you feel. The worry cannot be stopped. Its natural to worry in situations like this and as awful as they are, the world is full of awful happenings like this. Its unfair I know. I hope that your uncle is doing a ton of times better also.rnrnYou are going through so much at the moment and I”m sorry I haven”t been around for you like I used to. Every week my time seems to be limited to less and less time to come online. I know you are a strong person and you can pull through this difficult time. If anyone can, you can. Things will get better and be ok again you”l see. You are surrounded by many people who love and adore you myself included. You know I am always here for you and even though Im not always around my inbox is always free for any type of email.rnrnLove you so much and I hope we talk soon. Take care.rnxoxoxox

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